FORBIDDEN Love

i never want to meet you

i never want to see you

i never want to fall in love with you

i never want to realize that i love you like this

because i already know that we cant be together , we arent made for each other.
the worst fact that i know is i love you but i cant have you in my life.
sad ? yeaa.. i wanna cry!
i wanna run away from this feeling !
loser ?! yes i am !
because i cant accept the fact that you’re not meant for me.
although we love each other , but the fact that we have to deal doesn’t like what we feel. because until whenever we will never be able to be together.

I feel the love that you’ve given me is a sincere love. though you never say it , but I can see it from the light that shines from your eyes. I felt the warmth of your love while you stroked my hair, holding my hand, and hugged me. I  love you as well you feel. but how much a love that we both have , we must realize that all of  this is just a feeling that we could only keep in our hearts. we could only promise that we will always love each other. because we realize that we are not meant to be together.

honestly, I want to have you completely. I’m happy with all of these situations. on one side , I also thought of someone there who was half in your heart. someone who really trusts and loves you. I don’t want to think about my feelings only , because I know how disappointed her heart be when she know  all of this. but on the other side  , I felt very sick with all this reality. as hurt as what you feel too.

i don’t know what  must i do now. i really confuse with all of this condition. everything that i do always gone wrong. that’s why i really wanna die. i feel like i can’t stay longer anymore with this situation. i wanna give up , but i don’t want to leave all of the memories just ’till now. i wanna take our memories wherever n whenever i go. ’cause for me , all of this [ THE LOVE , THE MEMORIES , AND THE EXPERIENCES ] are valuable for me.

I’ve tried to stay away from you, but it never worked. we always come back decided to stay together. but how long should we keep this up ?! how long should we remain trapped in a forbidden love like this ?!

when i look at you

hello guys !

i just have a new great song for you all.

yeaaaaaa..

Miley Cyrus ‘s song.

ohh God , what an amazing song is this ?!! a really great lyric ! great lyric for me beacause it’s totally the same like what i’m feeling right now ! hihi >,<

okay , just start to take a look for the lyric , and then click THIS. then , download the song and start listen the song ! wahahaha. enjoy

When I look at YOU

Everybody needs inspiration
Everybody needs a song
A beautiful melody
When the night’s so long
Cause there is no guarantee
That this life is easy

Yeah, when my world is falling apart
When there’s no light to break up the dark
That’s when I, I, I look at you
When the waves are flooding the shore and I
Can’t find my way home anymore
That’s when I, I, I look at you

When I look at you
I see forgiveness
I see the truth
You love me for who I am
Like the stars hold the moon
Right there where they belong and I know
I’m not alone

Yeah, when my world is falling apart
When there’s no light to break up the dark
That’s when I, I, I look at you
When the waves are flooding the shore and I
Can’t find my way home anymore
That’s when I, I, I look at you

You, appear, just like a dream to me
Just like kaleidoscope colors that
Cover me
All I need
Every breath, that I breathe
Dontcha know?
Your beautiful

Yeah yeah..

When the waves are flooding the shore
And I cant find my way home anymore
Thats when I,
I I look at you
I look at you

Yeah yeah..
Oh oh..
You appear just like a dream to me..

well guys , how’s the song do u think ? it’s really awesome right ? hahaha.

oky thankyou for visiting and enjoy my song , dear

Wonderful Day ♥

Wednesday , 6th January 2010..

Today is a day that makes me so grateful to God. This days , everything was so beautiful in the time. when all of my problems can be solved. problems that  makes my mind and heart so messed up. all the trials  made me so down. I blame it all to god. I hate all the dire that makes me also hate God. for a moment , I felt that god is not fair to me. He took all the joy that is inherent in my life. *so sorry ’bout this..

however, there is someone special who remain to encouraged me in all my troubles. he still reminds me to keep praying to god no matter how i hate God in all these circumstances.  he said that only God who can provide the best way for me. He makes me believe that God has a plan behind all the trials that I had followed. every night , I pray to god to give me the best way for this. day after day, I live with a mind that full of problems that can makes my health is declining. but now , all of this trials are OVER !!! yeey xD *ilovethis..

This was the day when Lord has listened to all my prayers that i pray every night. He give a brightness for my life. He has opened my friend’s heart to forgive me. I’m very happy when they could forgive me and accept all my conditions. I am very grateful to my friends because they could understand all of my hardest things in life. i don’t know what must i say to tell how much THANKS that i wanna tell to all of your understanding , friends.

And also on this day , I feel that the decisions I make are the best possible decision for us both. for me and my someone special. because honestly..  I feel , life is not meant to be lived without him. him — who always leads me to the right path , which becomes light in my life , which becomes the source of my spirit , who become my strength to face all the problems that I have to face. we promise to strengthen each other , protect each other , cherish each other and LOVE each other as appropriate. until whenever , I always fall in love with him. and as long as i live i will always love him. although later I’ve belonged to other people, I’ll still keep all of our memories as the memories that I will never forget in my life. i promise…

and for all my sickness , I think all my sickness will be cured with time while I’m taking all this in a smile on my face. and of course with the support from them , them — the people who always there beside me and give me the spirit of life.

THANKS  alot to God , friend , and my someone special !

the lesson in this trial is we must remain faithful to God and believes that only Him that can make our hearts feel peacefully

First Love ♥ [ part 4 ]

well guys.. continue my novel is a great thing for me. so i will write again. hahaha.

happy reading

yaa.. ada sedikit kekecewaan yang aku rasakan dlm dirinya. ia membuat kecewa karna apa yg ia lakukan mnurud ku adalah hal yg salah. sharusnya ia dapat menerima smua ini. apkah aku salah dengan keputusan ini ?

namun , setelah sminggu ia menghilang entah kmna.. ia pun kembali menghubungiku dn meminta maav atas segala perbuatan yg telah membuat ku kecewa. aku pun memaavkannya. kami kembali seperti biasa. hingga pada akhirnya , ia bertanya apakah aku ingin menjadi dd angkatnya. mendengar hal itu , aku langsung mengiyakan tanpa berpikir. secara aku pun sangat ingin memiliki seorang kk. haha. mulai hari itulah aku memanggilnya sbagai seorang kko walopun tetep kurang ajar sm dy. hihi. smakin lama aku merasa bahwa aku telah menyayanginya sbagai koko ku. dy begitu spesial buatku. orang yg dapat membimbing ku , dapat memberikan solusi dn memberikanku perhatian yg begitu besar. sehingga aku bneer2 merasa bahwa ialah kekuatan ku. orang yg bisa membuatku merasakan kenyamanan yg gabisa aku dapatkan bersama orang lain. smkin lama aku mengenalnya , perasaan syang itu smkin besar. namun , aku tetap mengganggap rasa syang ini sbagai rasa syang untuk koko ku yg slalu menjaga ku. aku tidak menganggap rsa syang ini sbgai hal yg lebih dari sbatas koko dede.

dan sampai ketika ia menyatakan cinta nya untuk kdua kalinya. awalnya ia hanya memainkan lagu river flows in you dengan nada2 indah yang mengalun dengan pianonya. aku sangat mengagumkan orang yang bs memainkan piano. gatau knapa , tapi ya itu aku sangat suka sm org yg bs maen piano. kesannya pembawaanya tenang , kalem. *ohh.. so nice — setelah tidak ada lagi nada2 yg mengalir , aku sangat terkejut. disaat itulah ia mengatakan bahwa perasaan yg dimiliki dan disimpannya smakin dalam. dan untuk kedua kalinya pun aku menolak dy. walopun jujurr.. dari hatiku yg paling dalam , aku sangat menyayanginya. aku suda menyimpan perasaan yg sama dengannya sebenarnya. namun aku tlalu tkudd utk mnerimanya utk menjalin hub , karena aku tlalu tkudd bila suatu hari nti kita putus. aku tlalu tkud utk khlngannya suatu saat. maka aku memutuskan lebih baik kita tetap menjadi koko dede. agar tidak ada pertengkaran diantara kita. so , gada kata putus dn sling mlupakan. karna aku tidak penah mau hal itu terjadi. aku tlalu syang dengan smua hal yg ia lakukan. kelembutan hatinya , cara pandangnya , perhatiannya , kedewasaannya dan keramahannya kepada smua org. itu yg mmbuat smua rasa ini muncuul ddlam hatiku.

dan kami melanjutkan persahabtan kami + persaudaraan kami. dengan smua ini , aku suda mrsakan kegembiraan bersamanya. namun , ada hal aneh yg membuatku bingung atas smua ini. wajahnya sring skali terlihat pucet , tapi stiap kali ku tanya apa ia merasakan skidd.. ia slalu mengatakan tidak. ia mengatakan bahwa itu hanya karena ia kurang tidur. akupun melupakan segala kekhawatiran ku padanya. aku mempercayai perkataannya.. semua perkataan yg ia katakan kepadaku. tapi ternyata..

to be continue –>

Someone Who Lives In Your Heart

Last night I dream that you were beside me
It seems so real that I cried
When you’ve touched me
You’re my angel
And you’ve given me wings

And I fly away with you wherever you go
Cause you filled my heart and you captured my soul
And baby i want you to know

CHORUS:
If there’s one thing in this world that I know is true
It’s the love that I feel when I’m thinking of you
No ocean or mountain can keep us apart
Coz no one can take away someone who lives in your heart
All the hopes and the dreams are alive
I’ll carry you with me through distance and time
Nothing in this world can keep us apart
Coz no one can take away someone who lives in your heart

And I know there’s a million stars between us
But that won’t stop my longing
To hold you and to kiss you
How I love you

And I’ll find my way to you wherever you are
Coz you’re in my soul and you’ve got my heart
And your love will carry me on

CHORUS:
If there’s one thing in this world that I know is true
It’s the love that I feel when I’m thinking of you
No ocean or mountain can keep us apart
Coz no one can take away someone who lives in your heart
All the hopes and the dreams are alive
I’ll carry you with me through distance and time
Nothing in this world can keep us apart
Coz no one can take away someone who lives in your heart

Here in my arms,were you should be
Cause your love that makes me believe
That nothing or no one can tear us apart cause baby your in my heart

CHORUS:
If there’s one thing in this world that I know is true
It’s the love that I feel when I’m thinking of you
No ocean or mountain can keep us apart
Coz no one can take away someone who lives in your heart
All the hopes and the dreams are alive
I’ll carry you with me through distance and time
Nothing in this world can keep us apart
Coz no one can take away someone who lives in your heart

here’s the videoclip guys.. check it out !

this’s the song that can express my heart says for u , mr. jongi 

happy NEW YEAR 2O1O !

HEY guys !
in this post i just wanna say HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010 !

-looking back on the months gone by. as a NEW year starts and old ones ends , we contempalate what brought us joy n we think of our loved ones and our friends-

this new time is not about sadness but happiness. not sufferings but independences. not disappointments but proudness. faults in 2oo9 might be cured and be forgiven as we step forward to 2o1o. i hope this 2010 will be better than before with new enlightments and new love

New Year is the time to bid farewell to the old year and welcome the coming year. It is the time to forget and get past memories that are no longer useful or worth pondering upon. It is the time for new beginnings and new starts in life. New Year has a message for each one of us. One should let go of the past that has bad memories and accept what has happened, has happened for some reason. Instead of clinging onto your past and things that have gone, it is better to let go.There is an old saying that goes, “Don’t cry because it is over, smile because it happened”. This essentially means that there is no use crying over spilt milk. You cannot turn back time and do things that would benefit you. New year is the time of new beginnings. It is time to start afresh and do things that would make someone else smile. Make a pledge to make at least one person happy. You will see the difference it can make in both your lives. The essential message of New Year is let go off the past and embrace life as it comes to you. You will be happier and merrier that way.

Every new year people make resolutions to change aspects of themselves they believe are negative. A majority of people revert back to how they were before and feel like failures. This year I challenge myself to a new resolution. I challenge my self to just be myself.

May the dawning of this New Year, fill your heart with new hopes, open up new horizons and bring for you promises of brighter tomorrows. as the new year blossoms, may the journey of your life be fragrant with NEW OPPORTUNITIES , your days be bright with NEW HOPES and your heart be happy with LOVE !

new is the year, new are the hopes and the aspirations, new is the resolution, new are the spirits and forever my warm wishes are for u friend

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————-

My wish for You

Happiness deep down within.
Serenity with each sunrise.
Success in each facet of your life.
Family beside you.
Close and caring friends.
Health, inside you.
Love that never ends.
Special memories of all the yesterdays.
A bright today with much to be thankful for.
A path that leads to beautiful tomorrows.
Dreams that do their best to come true.
Appreciation of all the wonderful things about you.

the wisdom in 2009

Hello guys..

Come back with me , Nadia Joe in your favorite blog !

sekarang saat aku menulis , pada tanggal 31 des 2009 tepatnya pukul 5.15 sore WIB. coba de perhatikan latar waktunya. haha. yep , detik2 saat di mana kita harus menulis semua kenangan yang sudah kita lalui di tahun 2009 ini yang nantinya akan kita tutup dengan ledakan2 petasan yang begitu meriah meramaikan dn menyambut tahun 2010 yang penuh harapan ini.

cukup de basa-basinya , langsung aja ni.. aku mau berbagi kesimpulan plajaran yg aku dapat melalui pengalaman ku di tahun ini. supaya kita bisa mengambil sedikit pelajaran yang ada. hahaha. okay , lets start…

my lovely diary

waktu berjalan begitu cepatnya , tau-tau sekarang aku harus menutup buku lama ku yang sudah menemani pahit manisnya hidupku di tahun 2oo9 ini. buku ku akhirnya sudah bisa ditutup karena aku yakin , buku ku juga sudah lelah menempuh hidup yang begitu berliku2. ada suka , duka , tangis , canda , dan tawa. semuanya sudah dilewati bersama-sama. tapi karena semua itulah sehingga membuat aku merasa tahun ini begitu berwarna. yaa berwarna.. karena campuran dari suka dan duka. jika dtahun ini , aku hanya merasakan manisnya hidup. hidup begitu sangat datar dn kita tidak bisa berlatih untuk menjadi lebih dewasa. karena dibalik semua masalah yang kita hadapi , pasti ada suatu pelajaran hidup yg mungkin tidak akn bisa kt lupakan. sebuah plajaran yg sangat berguna buat kehidupan kita di hari yg akn mendatang.

yeaa , keep looking backward to reach the best way for the future , but don’t be afraid because of our failure in the past. ini kunci yang harus diingat mungkin , sebelumnya aku belum mengerti maksudnya apa tapi setelah aku coba , ternyata it works ! ketika kita menghadapi berbagai masalah yang mungkin kita pikir , kita gabisa mengatasinya sehingga membuat kita menjadi kepikiran trus – menerus. mungkin ini emg berat , tpi kita coba berpikir de. anggep smua masalah itu tu sbgai salah satu proses kita kearah kedewasaan dn mnerima smua masala itu sbgai ya suatu hal yg mungkin emg uda jalannya untuk meraih kesuksesan. KESUKSESAN , kesuksesan bukan slalu dalam hal materi lohh. kesuksesan bisa juga sbagai kesuksesan kita dalam mencapai suatu tujuan hidup kita mungkin yang sudah kita targetkan. misalnya — target ku taon ini untuk meningkatkan nilai ku di sekolah , dn karena aku mengingat kunci tadi , ternyata aku suda bisa meningkatkan nilaiku. walopun ya gabisa langsung WAHH. seengganya ada kemajuan , dan itu yang membuatku bersyukur. tapi gak stop smpe disini aja dong. aku harus tetap berusaha untuk menjadi lebih baik agar lebih memuaskan.

jika kita ingin menjadi lebih baik , jangan jadikan itu sbgai suatu beban atau apapun. jadikan itu sebagai kemauan kita sendiri. karena nti pada akhirnya yang bangga pun bukan hanya orang2 disekitar kita duang , tapi terlebih pada diri kita sendiri. pasti nanti kita berpikir , “ohh. iyaya , ternyata aku pun bisa melakukan semua ini.” pasti ada suatu kebanggaan tersendiri didalam diri ini.

Challenge makes me moving forward and be a positive person. Without challenge, we never know the ability we’ve already had. Be a winner although if your never win something but you have a heart as a WINNER !!!! Make your life becomes great blessing to others and you will see the meaning of its life.

di coba de. ini berdasarkan yang sudah aku alami selama perjalanan hidupku di tahun 2oo9 ini. dan aku ingin mencoba berbagi kepada kalian yang mungkin membutuhkan suatu motivasi

thanks for reading my post , friends !

see u in the next post about NEW YEAR ! yuhuuuuuu..

God’s gift ;)

friends ..
all i know , a friend is someone who always gave an encouragement to thins that I do.  although , yeaa .. this is a form of love that they give to me but why at the time I sank , they were acting like all of this is my fault. If  they knew that the situation that made it seem so difficult. If they knew , the condition was not as easy as they imagined. a problem that directly over if agreed by one side.
but i still thank to them ’cause without them , maybe i can’t survive ’till now when they accompany me in JOGja last time. it really made me grateful guys that life’s become so complete last time. without their love , i wont be able to stand and stay longer for this hardest time of my life. they’re my strenght , even they dont agree with my choices. i know they love me by this way

because of them i know the meaning of friendship. love of friends never gone wrong when i was with them. i know they dont like what i’m doing now ,  i’m trying to understand the way of their help.

wonderfull

everynight, I pray that God would give me a way to solve this problem. and it turns out, God hears all the prayers I ask to him. he gave me the serenity to send an angel from heaven. yeaa , that’s jasheline. my english class friend. she’s a girl who made me strong in this trial. she is the one who raised me from my slump. she is the one who made me able to accept all of my current circumstances. I am very grateful to God who has been giving me the best friend. she is the one who made me believe that behind all the problems , God would give wisdom in it. jasheline, thank you for making me become more mature. I love you, jash. only u .. the one who can understand all of my problem. i think , without u now , i still dissolve in grief maybe. haha. thanks alot for u. i don’t know what the best word to express my feeling for u. maybe , wonderfull is a best word for u jash

Endless Love song

My love
There’s only you in my life
The only thing that’s right

My first love
You’re every breath that I take
You’re every step I make

And I
I want to share
All my love with you
No one else will do
And your eyes
They tell me how much you care
Oh, yes you will always be
My endless love

Two hearts
Two hearts that beat as one
Our lives had just begun
Forever
I’ll hold you close in my arms
I can’t resist your charms

And love
I’ll be a fool for you
I’m sure
You know I don’t mind
You know I don’t mind

‘Cause you
You mean the world to me
Oh, I know
I know I found in you
My endless love

Oh
And love
I’ll be that fool for you
I’m sure
You know I don’t mind
You know I don’t mind
And yes
You’ll be the only one
‘Cause no one can’t deny
This love I have inside
And I’ll give it all to you
My love
My endless love…

First Love ♥ [ part 3 ]

hey guys .. gua balik lg ni utk nerusin novel gua tercinta. hahaha.

oke de gausa basa-basi lg. langsung masuk aja okay ?

enjoy reading ya kawand ..

hem , hari2 terasa bgtu indah adanya dia dhidupku. ia memberikan warna di dalam hidup ini. hari2 ku slalu dipenuhi oleh canda dan tawa kita berdua. walopun tidak ad perasaan khusus diantara kami berdua. karena kami hanya mengganggap kedekatan kami hanya sebatas teman dekat ato yg bysa dibilang sahabat. hem , gak da kata yg cocok untuk aku omongin buat dy. mungkin kata terbaik yang bisa aku ucapkan buat dy ya wonderful. maybe ini kata terbaik yg bisa aku berikan untuk dy. dia benar2 sosok sahabat yang diinginkan semua orang i think. bhkan setela kenal dy slama 3 tahun pun aku hanya mnemukan sedikit bgt sisi negatif nya. ksluruhan kpribadiannya tu emg bneer2 baik. dy nice , gasombong walopun baru kenal , care , dewasa , klo diajak serius ya serius , klo diaja untuk bercanda bisa jdi ikutan menggila gua nya , easy going , bs ngertiin n pendengar yg baik. hahaha. it’s totally perfect i think. aku slalu berpikir bahwa dia tu org paling perfect yang pernah aku temui sampai aku mengetahui hal buruk yg buat dia slalu kesakitan. kesakitan yg bisa aku  rasakan bersamanya.

well , balik lg ke pembicaraan awal.

setelah kira2 6 bulan aku kenal dan dekat dgn dy , ada hal2 yg membuat dy mungkin berpikir bahwa rasa dy buat gue lebih dari 2 org yang selayaknya bersahabat. hingga  pada suatu malam , ia menyanyikan aku lagu “Dari Hati” — clubeighties dengan diiringi gitar yang ia petik. ia menyanyi dengan suara lantang penuh perasaan. aku mendengarkan dengan perasaan WAH romantisnya. haha. apalagi jika mencermati kata2 yg ada di dalam lagu itu. so amazing ! setelah ia menyelesaikan lagunya , aku langsung menyambutnya dengan tepukan tanganku. aku memuji suaranya yang emg bisa dibilang suara vocalist bgt. kt memulai tertawa dan tertawa karena aku membuatnya begitu malu hingga wajahnya yang putih bersih menjadi merah merona. sampai tiba2 suasana malam itu menjadi tenang. tiba2 terdengar suaranya yang serak2 basah menghidupkan lg malam yang begitu santai menjadi srius. di saat itulah aku kaget ketika ia menembak. aku tidak percaya bahwa hal ini akan terjadi. karena aku pikir ia hanya menganggap aku sbatas sahabat. aku pun menolaknya karena aku memang tidak ada something special for him. i just like him as my bestfrend , gak lebih. lagipula waktu itu aku merasa masih sangat kecil untuk mulai menjalani suatu hubungan. i just want make a friend that time.

tidak terpikirkan olehku sebelumnya bahwa ia akan marah akan smua hal ini. sminggu kami khilangan kabar. aku sms , gag dibales. kt bener2 lost contact dan aku merasa sdkit adanya kekecewaan dalam dirinya.

—-> to be continue